Where She was Standing When She Lost The Flow

Ok, don’t judge me.  I think of my creative “flow” as a bright quirky goldfish.  She zips here and there and is generally all over the place.

Yesterday, I was in the “flow” big time.  Journaling away.  Then the kids started calling.  Our daughter (names withheld to protect me..lol) that is getting her Masters was overwhelmed and anxious.  She needed to be reminded that she could do it, and has done it and will continue to do it!  One of our other daughters texted me to check on party times for Sunday.  Our youngest daughter called to see if I would help her set up her classroom at the nonprofit where she works.  My son texted me to make sure I had picked up bread and snacks.  All within about an hour.  My flow just flew.

Once I got home from helping with the classroom….I sat down and tried to recapture where I was in my journal.  The above is all I could come up with in the thirty minutes before bed.  I can’t even remember my original idea.

I’m not complaining…I’m just stating the facts.  Sometimes/Most times when you have children, especially if you have as many as we do, your time is not your own.  And that’s ok.  I know without a doubt that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing when I’m dealing with these children.  Even though some of them are technically adults…they are still my kids.  Always will be. Evidently, I came into this world with a lot of Mom energy.

It’s a funny thing…there are lots of people out there who don’t really see raising kids as a life path, career, or even as work.  That’s ok.  But, for me, I don’t see any other way.  I kind of imagine it as being a steward of potentiality.  One of the kids we touch, teach, help along their way….may save this old world.  And I will be behind them clapping, cheering and wiping away a tear (with a paint rag most likely).

In my Spare time (new listings)

So in my spare time…I create.  Little moments stolen from the demands of life in a big family.  I haven’t made the time lately to make sure that my listings were updated on Etsy.  But I did today.  Woot! And it is very cool sometimes to see all of this artwork together and realize that you can create a body of work in those small moments.  You can.


Alien Thoughts bear channel Choose thoughts that bring relief claim your strength you are not that fragile Culturally transmitted madness Driving the Prejudice Vehicle is a dead end job hush hush I Am You I know you by your opposites listen as hard as you can mostly just a dream mother maiden crone Not bone tired but heart tired objects of scrutiny Once there existed a golden time One day at a time Playing the part despite her ancient knowledge Rabbit Requiem of doubt secure in the strength she was born with Some angel that wanted you to choose to breathe Tell The Truth The magic never left you The Unique Ones tired of watching every step waiting on the next step to be revealed what goes on in the pauses What if you're just too damn tired whispering fairy tales to my inner child

Love…pass it on

I was thinking about love today…there’s a lot of ways to love someone.  You can love them with money, by giving your time, with forgiveness, you can love yourself thereby loving others that much more , you can love them by listening, or talking, by feeding them physically  or spiritually, you can love them by accepting them, you can love them unconditionally, you can love them by understanding, you can love them by driving them around, mowing their lawn and on and on.

That’s a lot of love, people, don’t you think?  It’s a good idea to recognize it, be grateful for it, and pass it on.  I feel like love is kind of like Hurricane Sandy…it grows when given energy.  right?  I think love can prevail given enough attention….and I woke up thinking that.  So tune in.  And then broadcast.  LOVE!!

A Queen in her own right….

I dreamed about this last night, because I had my group of girls…that I work with…on my mind.  Some of them are beautiful by societys’ standards and some of them are a lot like the rest of us….they are attractive or pretty or in an awkward stage.  You know what I mean.  But each of them, without fail are beautiful in spirit.  Their hearts just shine out.  I wish they could see themselves as I see them.  Heck, I wish we could all see ourselves in our own true beauty.  I wish.


The “Get Real” Fairy

So me and the “get real” fairy had an arguement this morning. She felt there were some things I was overlooking and wanted to make sure that I was fully informed.   Evidently some things are gone and they aren’t coming back…according to her there was a list…

Hormones,  eyesight , wrinkle free skin (and upper arms for that matter), thyroid, gallbladder, appendix, wake free nights, thick hair, youthful zest, stamina, memory, exercise without pain…hell sitting without pain, hair free chin, steady metabolism,  oh the list went on and on.

I countered her arguement with a list of my own….a better knowledge of who I am and who I want to be going forward, confidence in my inner beauty, the ability to know what it’s important to remember and what’s not,  the ability to forgive(young people haven’t discovered the importance of that) strengthening empathy, maybe  most importantly the ability to understand (although not always put into practice) that it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, etc, etc.

This made the “get real” fairy flutter off.  Mad.  She was hoping for some action on my part to start covering up all the physical flaws.  She’s gone for now but I can tell she hasn’t gone far.  So I’m readying my ammunition , getting out the big guns.  I think when she comes back I will just give her a hug and let her know that she is beautiful just as she is….it could work.  She and I could be friends….and that is the real gift of growing older!  BAM “get real” fairy!!  Take that!





Your need to fit in…is dangerous to you!

I work with a beautiful group of girls on Tuesday afternoons.  We’ve been doing a sort of selfawareness collage.  Because I think that the sooner these girls find their voice, explore who they are, think about what they want and what their boundaries are…the safer they will be in this world.  As a matter of fact, I think all of us women would have been a lot safer in this world if we had done this work at that age…instead of this…lol.

These are ninth and tenth grade girls.  Their need to fit in…is so dangerous to them.  They are not kind to themselves.  Or sometimes to each other.  But mostly they are so unkind to themselves in their race to be just like each other and the “popular ones”.  One of the girls told me yesterday…that she probably would never get to be what she wanted because she was born a “mexican”.  She said it with a hopeless sort of disgust in her voice. It made me want to shake her.  She is so beautiful in just who she is….they all are.  And they all have so much to add to the world.  If they could just realize it.

If they could just be who they are….and not who they’ve decided that society wants them to be.  Huh….that would be a good thing for all of us women.  So all you older women out there…remember that we are allowing these young girls to believe these lies, because we believed them. Oh yes we did and do.  So stop it now. Start valuing these young women for more than their looks.  Stop trying to look like them and start modeling for them the grace of age.  Model for them the value of inner peace and beauty of spirit.  Model for them the importance to their lives… of more than that designer pair of $600 boots and the kardashian life style.  How about we all start to do that…so that these young women can grow into their full potential.?  will you?  That’s my question for you today.

Praying for World Peace

Interesting thing…I’ve learned a few lessons being an artist.  okay, don’t laugh, we’re all learning every day…but I’m talking about specific lessons.  If you’re interested..read on.

1. Every creative person I know…tends to be a little more liberal and openminded than average.  I think it’s because they use both sides of their brain.  True story.

2.  They tend to solve problems outside the box and with just a little more humor than those who don’t think with both sides of their brain.

3. They may not be valued by our economy/society but that doesn’t seem to stop them.  They just continue following their passion with commitment, making our world a better and more beautiful place as they go.  And…maybe most importantly artists are on a journey to know how they feel and why….so that they can convey that in their artwork.

4. Without fail, they will talk about peace.  It’s true, every artist I’ve ever met or talked with will eventually get to the subject of world peace, beginning with inner peace.  Perhaps it’s because artists know that in order to be creative, the world needs to be a peaceful place.  We pray for peace, the way some people cheer on their favorite team.  Passionately and with lots of noise, color and laughter. Not with a political or economic agenda but because we know that in the pause of anger, chaos and war…is the beauty that art springs from.

I’ve read that artists and creatives are going to be in big demand going forward.  We need them to help solve the problems that we’re in.  I hope it’s true. The dalai lama said that “western woman will save the world”.  I would add that she will probably be an artist as well.  Hey people..imagine a world where an artist is as prized as the CEO of some huge conglomerate.  Can you imagine that?  I can!


A Spark

Here’s what I think….we all have an individual spark.  We may have as much or as little in common as a group of pumpkins, tall, round, skinny, fat, orange, white, green….but each one of us has our very own individual spark.

It’s ours to fan into whatever kind of light we wish.  We can light up the world or hide it under a barrel, but that doesn’t change the fact that we have it.  We can dim it with drugs or ugly behavior,   or we can shine it up and hold it high…. live in the truth of our shine, but we all have it.

I try to remember that when I’m dealing with the IRS, AT &T, school officials and the cable company. I especially try to remember that when I’m watching presidential debates or dealing with tech support in India, or even the young adults in my house who want to argue endlessly with me about every little thing…lol.

It’s all those sparks that make this world such a beautiful place.  Shining brightly in the faces of friends and strangers.  They’re a match for the stars in the sky and the sun blasting it’s light at the earth.  All those sparks make up a light so bright that it takes my breath away and reminds me that I am a part of something much bigger.  So shine little spark, shine.  Your beauty is awe inspiring.!

Denying Parts of Yourself…..

Rapunzel was an easy one.  I get that the whole thing is about keeping a girl’s innocence intact.  But I think it also speaks to someone taking an inner journey instead of an outer one. She spent all of her time alone in a tower….painting, playing with birds…you know meditating.   The only thing is…unless you’re a monk on a hilltop…sooner or later you have to deal with the outer and the inner.

Can’t deny parts of yourself. But a lot of us do right? I know it and you do too. Unfortunately,  it just results in an exxageration of some other part of yourself to compensate…you know like 25 feet of hair..lol.  Ultimately though you have to climb out of the tower…cut your hair and stand in the truth of who you are.  Even if it blinds your prince. Especially then.  (the prince in Rapunzel was blinded until her tears fell on his eyes.)  Well yeah.  Everyone around you is blind if you’re not standing in your own personal truth. And that’s the truth and nothing but the truth.

Snow White

and the Wicked Stepmother Queen

I was surprised to find out that this story was about the catholic church (no offense to you catholics out there,  I didn’t write this story)  The Queen represents the Catholic church in all it’s wickedness (inquisitions, etc, etc) and Snow white represented the Presbyterians who were trying to separate from the church, you know pure as the snow and innocent. HA. The seven dwarfs were the seven smaller church states.

I suspect that there was some wickedness on both their parts because that’s just how human nature is.  Power is power and these people were fighting for it.  It’s a story that has lasted a long time though. I won’t lie…sometimes I’ve caught myself rooting for the Queen in this story because Snow White is just a little too perky and silly.  She never follows the very good advice given her.  That makes me think to myself…”hey, you should have listened and you got yourself into this situation”.  But then I remember one important fact…There are many many times when I haven’t listened.  I bet you can remember some of those times too.

Best case scenario, listen to your advisors that’s why you’ve gathered them around you. Worst case, don’t listen and learn the lesson you were meant to learn,  the hard way. Either way you learn.  I feel like you can probably learn your lessons without having to clean and cook for seven men though…just saying.