Gratitude and why I’m so grateful for it….

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so usually about this time of year I start thinking of things I’m grateful for….not gonna lie, birthday gifts and wishes often prompt this thought process.  I do try to have a daily gratitude practice though.  Because trust me, you don’t get to be 52 without being grateful for quite a few things.  And I’ve found that if you don’t pause to recognize…then less and less things to be grateful for wander into your little world.  True story. Sad story for a lot of people. So here’s the list…(I love lists, lol,  because they nudge my memory and just for the whole list-iness  of them)

so first thing always, always, grateful for my family.  That’s right family I’m grateful for you first and foremost.  You people also drive me crazy lol. But isn’t that what family has agreed to do for you on some level?  Point out your flaws, notice your strengths, call you out on any manner of craziness?  Hug you and love you and squeeze your little head off your shoulders?  Yeah that’s what family is for.  To mirror you back to yourself and help you grow into who you’re supposed to be.  And to remember all those embarrassing stories so you don’t get too full of yourself and forget your path.  So grateful, grateful, grateful.

As a new friend of mine mentioned recently…I’m an aromapath. (Thanks Amanda Grace for that most excellent term!!)  Just to be clear..I am not grateful for all those synthetic scents that people are filling up my breathing space with..NO WAY.  But I am grateful for natural scents, peppermint, cedar, roses, apple blossoms, sun-warmed wood, fresh clean breezes with scents too light to identify, ozone after the thunderstorm, bacon on sunday, fresh lavender and so many many more.

Today I am practicing gratitude for my body.  The way it works so efficiently, and the way it moves relatively pain free. relatively.  Still I can’t complain.  Well I could,  but complaining and gratitude do NOT go together.  I’m grateful for the years of service my body put in without complaining.  Just doing it’s job for the most part year in and year out.  Thank you kind body for your years of service.  thank you.

Art.  Oh what can I say about you that I haven’t felt and said over and over?  I’m grateful in every way and every day that you are in my life.  You have allowed me to express myself in line and color and words.  You are the practice that allows me to go soul diving for treasure.  Art is my practice, my meditation, my being.  That’s right… and don’t judge me for gushing here.  Gushing is allowed in relation to Art.  It just is.   Art has allowed me to take small pieces of my soul and make them visible to the human eye. Art has been the signpost and the companion on every journey I’ve made on this path for many years.  So thank you bestie for your constant inspiration and company!  Woot!

I’m grateful for gratitude.  That’s right, this is not a typo.  Because gratitude as a practice causes you to pause, consider, reconsider, search for that space of light and brightness, that sense of the sacred behind and beyond the scenes that we all should dwell in a little more often.  Because that space right there…that space is the healing space.  That space is your true and spacious home.  It is.  And it always will be.  So say thank you people, and mean it.

La La La 52

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so today…the day after taxes are due….I am 52.  It’s been an interesting ride, with great company and so many opportunities to learn.

I noticed a few months ago that there had been a shift.  My friends say, ” oh you look so young to be 52″, the kids at the nonprofit say “you’re like my second grandmother”.  When did that happen?  I went from being kids second mother to being their second grandmother…lol.  I think that the kids are probably more honest.  In truth though, I don’t mind.  Especially when I consider the alternative to growing older.  And like Dolly Parton says in Steel Magnolias “time marches on and eventually you realize it’s marching across your face”. But this is the right way of our journey as women, right?.  We may give up beautiful wrinkle free skin, perky boobs, pain free bodies but what we gain, oh what we gain, is a lot more peace of mind, compassion, wisdom, and freedom to think of ourselves a little more often. When I’m balancing those things out in my mind….I’m usually pretty sure I prefer the latter, except for the painful body stuff lol.  I’m not that evolved yet.  So today….the day after taxes are due…I am 52…and I’m good with that.  As a matter of fact, I’m great with that.  Just so you know.

The Universe Conspires

"The Universe Conspires"

“The Universe Conspires”

The universe conspires doesn’t it?  To teach us what we most need to know.  To help us on our growth journey.  I think it does, I see it every day in my life and others.  And every day I forget that small important piece of wisdom…lol.  I keep reminding myself of it when I take a breath, when I pause, when I can stay centered in the moment, when I journal, when I create, when I’m kind, when I share empathy with another human soul here on this path. So that’s what I’m thinking…. over here in this apple orchard on a small mountain.  in the rain.

Rain, Rain, Rain

rain crow

The Rain Crow

landed again today

Fluttered thru my heart

Counted my tears

 

My soul shattered and

disintegrated into liquid drops…

A tiny prismatic mosaic

 

My heart battled

Wildly, redly

against blue-sheened

feathered crowness

 

Gagging and muffled

into a land creature

that could not soar…

or even walk

 

As the rain crow flew away

clutching my feathered joy.

-Fonda