I did manage to grab a few minutes here and there for my journaling over the holidays. A few were done last week too. Sick family members have been the norm lately and I find that it shows up in my work even though I didn’t think about it consciously. Funny thing about Thanksgiving…there are so many people talking and eating that there doesn’t seem to be all that much time to really share with one another. And even though it’s our family get together for the year, it comes and goes without much getting together of any real kind. We all are fairly non social people, I think, although we might protest otherwise.
“Trying to Believe”
“Oh Dear…Pretending not to see”
“Filled with a lot of nothing that only interests her”
I believe in the evolution of every craftperson’s or artists’ journey there comes a time when the real struggle is about just being yourself. You can practice and gain muscle memory. Take classes and learn techniques. Buy good tools, and doodads. But then when you’ve gained all those things….the real true work begins. And it is work. The most important work. Knowing how you feel and deciding who you are and what message you want to convey. This is where I am in the class (you know of life). I’m the one in the back row who will raise their hand and answer the question. That this is what I’m supposed to do. With my time. And my energy. Of course there are people who will point out (mainly my children) that there are other things I could be doing…..socializing, eating out, cleaning. They have a point. But they also are unaware of how hard it is to be real in your craft. Because it takes a tremendous amount of time for me to just be who I am in my art. Seems silly to think that we’ve covered up so much of ourselves that it would be hard to uncover who we are. But it is and it does.
So it’s been strep throat for several of us around here. I’ve made sure to enforce lots of rest so that the rest of the family doesn’t catch it. The good news is that it left me time to journal daily. Here are a few of the pages….in looking back over them it’s easy for me to see that I wasn’t feeling well. But it’s important to document that stuff too. Or at least it is to me. My practice is all about knowing myself and knowing how I feel. Even the not so pretty stuff like strep throat.
“Too tired to labor more”
“One dimensional but sure it’s the new trend”
“Her wings have to carry a lot of weight”
“Aware Of being exhausted but not able to stop doing what needs to be done”
“looking for horns to prove how fierce she is”
“voted most likely to be stretched to thin”