Either or. Not both I’ve decided. IT’s a funny thing about lessons. They come when you need them right? But in my case, I often notice a lesson playing out for others, before I realize that the dang lesson is for me. So I’m going along watching others struggle with something and feeling like I got it and then I realize…dang the lesson is for me…not for them. Or maybe it’s for them…but it’s for me too.
This particular lesson has come up about ten times in the last four or five days. Because, you know, I couldn’t get it the first time. So, I’ve found myself , hypocritically, trying to point this lesson out to those around me. While not really practicing this little piece of spiritual advice myself. I hate when I’m a hypocrite. Ugh.
So, today, I sat with this thought while going about my other responsibilities. Hey universe…I get it. Blaming others leads to a whole lot of victim hood, depression, fear blah blah. Then I thought for awhile about how you can avoid blaming others. At first, I was kind of like…”hey, other people do wrong you sometimes. Other people can be wrong. Murderers for instance…child abusers, people who interfere with your joy and happiness. That is all true I said to myself. Dang right it’s true I answered myself back! Still…what’s the answer to not blaming?
I suspect that the answer is different for different people. But here’s what I came up with if it helps…
1. Identify the problem. Take a real realistic honest look at what is really bothering you. Look at it from different perspectives. What makes it better? What would make your feelings about it change?
2. Face your fears…take responsibility for resolving it. No one is going to fix it for you.
3. Don’t waste your time feeling bad and doing nothing. Do something. And if you can’t do something now…then let it go until you can.
And last but not least…something I learned from Marianne Williamson….Pray hard for the person who you feel has wronged you. For days. Either it will change them or it will change how you feel about what they did.
Now, if I can just put all that into practice…laughter…I’ll let you know.